Failure is a daily matter. Is an essential part of the learning process. Children learn through this process every day.
All doing of the children start with failure. They learn to write and make mistakes, learn to read, and the letters get confused …
Little children laugh when they fall. They do not get excited when the whole environment gets dirty in their attempt to eat, every scrap of them moves them.
In fact – from the first moment we started trying to do, we started to fail. As adults, we try to avoid failures to castrate all our actions.
Failure makes us embarrassed, ashamed, disappointed by ourselves. We try to hide it – so that they will not see, that they did not know …
We conclude from him our ability to succeed in the future.
Sometimes, as a result of failure, we are physically ill or very weak. This is how we allow it to permeate so deeply into our body.
Our reference to failure
The question I ask here is not when and at what age it changes and why, but how we as adults can change how we relate to failure, and why failure is a critical component of success.
Well, that’s pretty simple. Let’s start from the conclusion.
You can not succeed all the way. If you think you’ll always succeed and in all cases – think again. It will not happen.
So now that we know that failure will come sooner or later and that there are no unique individuals who do not experience failure, it remains only to learn how to contain it and get out of it strengthened.
Chronicle of failure
Here are some examples:
- Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, was one of the most influential presidents. The influence of his actions as president is evident to this day – the abolition of slavery, the prevention of the United States from being split during the American Civil War, the ongoing struggle for human rights, and more …
- Until his election as president, Abraham Lincoln failed hard times in many arenas in his private, business and political life.
- Another example of the business world: The career of Steve Jobs, who founded Apple and became its first CEO, was more fraught with failures than successes. After being dismissed from Apple, he said: “Abolishing Apple was the best thing that could happen to me”
JK Rowling, the successful author of the Harry Potter series, said in a speech: “In all conventional metrics, I failed big. My marriage collapsed after a very short time, I was unemployed, a single mother and as poor as possible in modern Britain. My parents’ fears about myself and my fears were all fulfilled, and by any standard measure I was the greatest failure I ever knew. “
Am I a failure?
It is important to learn to separate between “I am a failure” and “I failed” which are two completely different things.
“I’m a failure” is a determination of a fact that usually causes enormous damage to our self-image, and does not allow for learning.
On the other hand, “failed” is feedback that allows us to stop and check what we need to improve, whether it’s in the business or ourselves, and make changes and corrections in the future (which, by the way, do not guarantee immediate success, at least not in the classic sense). As a success – a matter of definition).
The consultant to large US companies Peter Bergman says: “I can not think of any manager who reached greatness and did not fail. If someone can think of such a person, he probably does not know him well enough. Every successful manager I know had a lot of small failures and some big ones and he learned something about himself that eventually helped him become a success “
If we assume that we have come here to succeed (in the Western sense) then every failure on the road to success is perceived as an obstacle on the way, as a stone that hinders us, but if we assume that we have come here to learn and develop (and as readers of New Age Academy) The starting point:)) then each failure will be perceived as a rate, as part of the way, of tuition. We got a free workshop!
Forms of coping with failure
2 interesting coping modes at the edges of the axle:
“It’s not me, it’s him.” An interesting way (not) to deal with failure.
It was the weather, the partner or the woman that made it impossible for them. There is no study here.
There was no study at all, but in any case, a deep sense of failure, combined with a lack of responsibility, allows no development, and as we know, a lesson that is not learned, it will end again and again.
Self-flagellation until it bleeds. Perfectionism.
“How I could not see it coming”, “I should have known”, “You should not have done X”
This is the other side of the scale, which also does not allow the lesson.
Edison failed 100 times before he could produce a light bulb, and when asked about it, he said it was a great way to learn 100 ways not to shoot Nora.
What makes people who have a tendency to see their failure as learning and move on? Move on despite the failure? Fall and immediately get up?
Studies show that this tendency exists in entrepreneurial types, in those that desire drives them …
did not work? So what. Moving on.
An interesting study at Harvard shows that entrepreneurs who failed in a previous venture are more likely to succeed in the next venture than novice entrepreneurs who have not yet failed. (An interesting formulation, right? It’s all a question of reference)
So how does failure contribute to our next success?
Experience – we already know better what works and what does not.
Vigilance – keeps us alert. Sharpens our instincts, our gut feelings, what we want and where we want to.
“I’m not going to tell you that failure was fun,” JK Rowling said in a speech. “It was a dark period of my life … so why am I talking about the benefits of failure? Because failure means expansion from all that is not necessary. I stopped pretending I was something else than I was, and began to direct all my energy to finish the only work that mattered to me. If I had succeeded in everything else, it would seem that I would never have found in me the determination to succeed in the one area in which I really felt. “
Have you failed? Do not waste the failure. You’ll grow up from him.